Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Orange County: The Magic Kingdom - Part 1

Orange County: The Magic Kingdom


Welcome to Orange County. Population 3,000,000 and constantly growing. People are moving here from everywhere, much to the chagrin of the current residents. New shipments of bodies arrive everyday. They move here seeking something. That something can be different for each individual, but they are definitely here for something. No one just packs up and moves here without a reason.

Why do they come here? Well I can’t answer that question for everyone, but I think I know why I initially came here. I moved here because I thought I could put a few screenplays together, sell them, and maybe even end up in the films themselves. How hard could it be right? It’s pretty amazing how fast a person losses track of their goals in this place.

Orange County is something of a mythical creature or an urban legend, to those who are from far away destinations such as myself. You hear some stories about this place, but you never actually meet anyone who lives or has lived here. This area is the stolen kidney from the back of the unlucky businessman. It sounds like a real place, but does it actually exist? I’ve even heard they have a castle located at the center of this undiscovered country.

It’s true what they say. About the castle I mean. Disneyland lies at the heart of OC. Oh sorry, OC means Orange County to the layperson. Don’t worry there will be many more things I will have to explain to you later. As I was saying, Disneyland is right smack in the middle of Orange County. Now it may not be located in the geographic center of this fair land, but it is definitely the source of the mystique that swallows this area whole. People think that Disneyland is just a theme park situated in the town of Anaheim. This is not even close to the truth. Disneyland’s borders actually surround the entire county. When you hit San Clemente from the south, Seal Beach from the North, or Brea from the West, you are now in the Magic Kingdom.

This sounds a little crazy, I know. However, if you give me time I will explain this to you. Disneyland is made up of separate towns each with a different theme. Orange County is set up this exact same way; these towns just have real names like Tustin, Santa Ana, Huntington Beach, and Westminster. People who live in Orange County know exactly what to expect when they go into these different towns. They know the themes of each area, just as a tourist at Disneyland looks at their map and know that if they go to Tomorrow land they get to see some futuristic shit. This is comparable to me going to Newport Beach and seeing cars that aren’t even available to the public yet or allowed on this continent. I can drive down the Pacific Coast Highway and stop at a light right next to a Qvale Mangusta being driven by an 18-year old girl. I know what you are thinking, what the fuck is a Qvale Mangusta? Well the only reason that I know what a Qvale Mangusta is because I read car magazines from time to time, and I have read an article on said vehicle. If you don’t know what a Qvale Mangusta is don’t worry, this means that you are perfectly normal. I can barely pronounce the damn thing, and I even know what the hell it is. This car would be like strapping yourself into space mountain and blasting off. Your only going to experience this type of shit in the Magic Kingdom
This example is just the tip of the iceberg with the mouse ears carved on top. I’ll try to share with you as many experiences as a good boy from Boston can remember.

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