Wednesday, May 30, 2007

What Happens In Vegas, Stays... On My Blog...

Alternative Title: T.O. Does Not Like To Be Challenged To A Chicken-Fight In The Palms Pool

Man oh man...

My Vegas Bachelor party has come and gone... and I am almost back to normal. It was touch and go there for a few days. I felt like Lindsey Lohan's driving privileges... abused. However, my voice is finally back and my kidney and liver functions are fully restored. I am ready to type this out for you and let you into what happened...

Thursday
3 of us hit the road for Vegas from Orange County... there is minimal traffic and we arrive at the Palms around 2:45-3:00pm. Right at that time, the East Coast squad arrives in full force to check in: Paul, Derek, Joey, HotMops, Sleepy, Aaron, Happy, Renaldo, Doc, Terrizzi, Ryan, Bubba, and Bashful... shortly thereafter a few more rolled in from various locales... however noticeably absent was The Gagger Himself, which is sad because he would have provided more stories than I could care to type out.
First stop up to the rooms, then everybody convened to the pool area. I am not a big "pool scene" guy, but wow... The Palms pool is the place to be during the day. We met our waitress Paris Hilton and buckets of beers began arriving.
The pool scene faded and the night began, as we made our way to Ghost Bar. Bravo to the Maloofs for combining 2 things I am not fond of... nightclubs and heights. However, the view was amazing and it was a great atmosphere. The drinking stopped around 3:30-4:00am for most I believe... not positive though.

Friday
Pool scene part deux... The group was at the pool starting around 10:30 and we were all there by about 11:45 I would say. Paris quickly found us and the buckets started early. Soon enough, Terrell Owens made an appearance and quickly turned into DJ T.O. for the next 2-3 hours.
I think Terrizzi was doing a story for Men's Health because he kept comparing his body size and Renaldo's to that of T.O.'s... as much as we all would like to look like that, it just isn't happening until one of us actually owns a gym.

The pool scene was nice though it took on what I would imagine a Roman Bath was like... i.e. Groups of people drinking alcohol for hours, yet apparently no one felt the need to leave the pool to go to the bathroom...
Eventually T.O. made his way into the pool. I assume now that he probably would like to be left alone... I assume that now. However, my friend thought it would be fun to challenge him to a Chicken-Fight. Immediately this struck me as the best idea I have ever heard in the history of ideas. My friend wisely decided to pass, however I could not let this idea drop... A random fellow heard and decided it was also a great idea. We ventured close to T.O., who much like a distant mountain, got bigger and bigger as we approached. I hopped on this gent's shoulders and proceeded to tap Terrell on the shoulder, he turned and I said "I challenge you to a Chicken-Fight!" He blew me off with a wave of his hand and turned around... I think his skinny posse member wanted to punch me, but luckily he looked to be all of 140 pounds thanks to the pool water weighing him down and he also blew me off... I think he was upset he didn't get to sit on T.O.'s shoulders.
The pool scene died down again as we were some of the last people to leave that afternoon. Everyone went upstairs to change and begin some table games.
Soon everyone was ready to begin our evening... at the Playboy Club. As I said earlier I am not a big fan of nightclubs, but this place was a m a z i n g. We had a private table in the back with our own bunny pouring our drinks. We had access to the 2 floor Moon club above us in addition to the Playboy Club.
Soon enough our table area was brimming with females thanks to the glorious efforts of my buddy... 3 separate times he ventured out and each time brought back multiple groups of women who enjoyed dancing with Terrizzi, as he trapped them against the wall (poor cocktail bunny...).
Eventually the group dispersed and Graeme and I headed to get a 5am cheese steak. Sounds good on paper, tastes bad in my mouth... not because it was a bad sandwich at all, but because it was a 5am cheese steak.
Back to the room and asleep by 5:45 or so...

Saturday
Pool scene part III... again, it was busy but not quite as insane as the day before. Paris almost twisted an ankle sprinting to the group.

We drank more buckets, and then Terrizzi turned one into an army helmet and tried to swim laps. He also wanted to try and give TO some table gaming advice but I don't think that petered out. Hopefully he got enough info already for his article on him...
The day turned to night and, after a nice sushi dinner, a decision had to be made on where to go... Graeme talked to a gentleman with a suit and a nice phone that promptly informed us of the positive times resulting from the rental of a pool cabana for the evening. This man was wise beyond his years and Motorola Q phone.
At first, it was Graeme, myself, and 2 females that Graeme invited for the evening (not those kind of girls, he knows them from Orange County... wait that still doesn't sound good...).
You know you have a good spot when right next to your cabana, Chris "I need Rush Hour 3 money stat!" Tucker, Gabrielle "Holy Shit I Am Gorgeous" Union, and Baby"career?"Face are in the cabana next to you... for about 30 minutes. They left because the Palms has a zero mary-jah-wana policy which apparently they were not to fond of.
Soon enough the rest of the gang arrived and the place was jumping... right up until it seemed the closed a little early and no more bottles could be purchased.
The next move was to the new Scores strip club in Vegas... $30 to get in even for the ladies... great idea Scores. Apparently at 4-5am (don't really know) the C team is on stage... yikes...
We hung around for a little while but I knew it was time to leave when I walked past a door that swung open and it was sunny outside... not sunrise, full blown sun.
We went back to the hotel where Graeme got in bed with those 2 ladies.... and I got in bed with my buddy Brendon.

Sunday (praise Allah... finally time to go home)
Awake by 10:30 and out the door by 11am. I was pretty out of it, and didn't even checkout... I walked out.
Saw a few people in the lobby and gave a hug and a goodbye...
Got in the car, dropped Graeme off to get a ride home with his 2 new girlfriends, and Brendon and I hit the road home.

Smooth sailing - From Henderson, to Baker for lunch, to Corona to drop off Brendon, to my door in a little over 4 hours... no traffic at all... amazing.

Let's see... to sum up: It was awesome... I am sun burnt, my body is not quite back to normal, and I am broke... but it was amazing.
Thank you to all my friends who came and for all that they did. I am sorry I didn't say goodbye to everyone on my way out, but my body said it was time to go and I had to listen...
thanks again seriously...

Lets get the final Celeb count for the weekend: Adam Levine (lead singer of Maroon 5) played with Roulette with Bubba, J. Peterman from Seinfeld was at the Playboy club, Darryl from the Office (bumped into him 3 times, on the 2nd time I told him to quit following me, on the 3rd he told me I was stalking him and then he and Graeme discussed random shit... awesomely nice guy), Kendra from Laguna Beach (not really a celeb I guess), Chris Tucker, Gabrielle Union, Babyface, Paul Davis (not a celeb at all, just a Clippers Rookie, and a 6'10" white guy), and T.O. (who apparently prefers not to Chicken-Fight with pasty white guys while he is talking to women in the pool, mental note). If I am missing anybody please let me know...

I think I just got drunk from remembering all that...

Hiyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

2 comments:

Grahammy Ham said...

Um, Paul Pierce??? How can you forget Paul Pierce? With your buddy (moments earlier was wearing the bucket) ran over to say hello? And then was totally dissed, by his hero Pauly Pierce?

Don Law said...

Excellent one... damnit how could I forget Pauly P!! With his backpack on trolling the poolside at the end of the day... Lets blame that one on the combo of sunshine and corona?