Thursday, March 22, 2007

Love Is All You Need... You Son Of A Bitch...

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
road rage
–noun
a fit of violent anger by the driver of an automobile, esp. one directed toward and endangering other motorists or pedestrians.


I have road rage... often. Now, I don't do anything dangerous like try to swerve my truck at someone else or something stupid. I just happen to get extremely angry at all kinds of stuff that happens while driving.

Say someone comes into my lane in front of me and does not use their blinker, even if there is enough room for them to do so, it drives me crazy. Or for example, a person might tap their brakes on the highway when there is no reason to do so... I start using obsenities to describe how their mother might perfrom certain acts involved in making love. it's not nice stuff and I know it is overboard on my part, but I dont roll down my windows and scream it at people. I dont give the finger and I rarely use the horn unless it is absolutely neccesary. I simply make myself upset and I can deal with that.

Yesterday an odd thing happened... I was driving up the 405 on my way home from work and I was listening to The Beatles. Specifically I was listening to the song "All You Need Is Love" and and singing along as I usually do.

Just then a car cut me off with no blinker and I went into road rage mode, swearing at this person... all the while, I was still singing the song.

You son of a bitch, use your damn blinker when you want to cut me off... ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE... (BUM BAH BUM BUM BUM)... Oh look, now you are going to go slower yet you need to get in FRONT of me? ... ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, LOVE... You piece of shit! Stop hitting your damn brakes, there is no one in front of you!!! ... LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED... LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED...

Needless to say, I was quite confused after I settled down and also quite amused. This countinued for the remainder of the drive home...

Hey asshole, if you are going to turn there give me some heads up... AHH LOOK AT ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE... Jesus buddy, I know it's yellow but you don't need to slam on the brakes! ... ELEANOR RIGBY , PICKS UP THE RICE IN THE CHURCH WHERE NO WEDDING HAS BEEN...LIVES IN A DR- Come ON grandma, what the fuck are you doing here? Your car can go faster than 12!... ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE, WHERE DO THEY ALL BELONG...

It was an interesting drive home to say the least.

Other potential titles for this post were:

  • Paperback Driver
  • Live and Let Drive (that's a good one...)
  • Let It Be... I Wish I could...
  • Hey Jude, Get The F*&K Off The Road!

As you can see I had some options here... I feel that the one I decided on fits with the mood though...

3 comments:

Grahammy Ham said...

i wish you would use your south park voice and make this an audio post.

Grahammy Ham said...

post something

Don Law said...

Should I hipcast something? that would get annoying real fast...

Why dont you post some short stories you have written culo?